Sometimes, people don't think before they communicate an idea. I remember about five years ago I was at a nude pool party for gay men. We were all longing around the pool, enjoying the company, the sunny afternoon, the snacks and beverages. An acquaintance of mine happened to add to the conversation, "Black men don't have hairy chests."
Being one of maybe five men present who were of African descent (out of maybe 40 total), I knew that eyes were turning towards me. I didn't offer an immediate response but instead I looked downwards towards my own chest. I have a moderately amount of fur growing on my pecs and trailing down to my pubes. I'll add here that I've
never shaved any of my body hair and probably never will.
The man who made this remark watched my reaction and then added: " Hey Micheal, you don't count because you're half Greek and all Greek men are hairy." When I realized what he had said, I had to wait a minute before offering a comment. He had not only uttered "dumb," he had the nerve to add "stupid" to it!
By this time, everyone there was looking at me. One of the other Black men there has some sparse chest hair and the other three had hairless chests, so I guessed they all were waiting for me to reply. I took a deep breath and offered: "Look, man, it is up to each man to decide how he identifies himself. I'm half Nigerian, from my waist up. I'm half Greek, from my waist down. Not
all Blacks have smooth chests and not
all Greeks are hairy. Not
all White men are smooth and not
all White men have chest hair. You are White and you have less hair on your body than I do."
I could tell from his body language that he wasn't happy about my comment. That didn't bother me at the time and I don't regret it today. His statement didn't make sense then and nothing has changed since. He has an undergraduate degree in sociology so he knows his remark was just ignorant. If you have no knowledge on the subject, then it's best to remain silent and learn.
People are similar but not identical. Most of us know this from observation and those that don't usually find this out from our high school studies. That's why I consider his comments racist, rude and thoughtless. What's more, to this day he hasn't apologized.
When I see him now, I acknowledge his presence and leave the conversation to others. A close friend of his let me know after this encounter that one of his all-time favorite porn stars is Ty Lattimore. When I learned this, I mailed to him, anonymously, a color photo of Bro Ty, shown below. Ty Lattimore is an excellent gay actor: Black and hairy!
Ty Lattimore
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